Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
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I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I fill condoms, not promises.
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I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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