It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
