I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
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This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
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It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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