i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You ruined the universe
Randomize
