You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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