Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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