he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
