cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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