OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
ttyl tear gas
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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