there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
