eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
