im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
