Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
