It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
