i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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