now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
