this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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