Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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