he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
