so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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