"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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