I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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