dude i'm inner monologue high
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
