I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
