I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
