hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
