gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
