So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize