he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
They took my balls.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
