Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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