Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize