arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
