i think my tv is drunk
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
