can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
