I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
