Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
