I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
