Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
