What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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