You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
