She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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