I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
