We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
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