Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
