Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
