so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
