Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
