He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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