My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
