sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
