just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
