Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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