she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
babies were throwing up all over the place
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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