My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
