No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
