so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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