just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
