she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
