There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
