Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
