first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If its not for food we ain't going out.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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