whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
